Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
