So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize