y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
