After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize