Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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