My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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