I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
