i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
