I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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