where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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