Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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