Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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