Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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