They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
