On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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