its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
