Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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