Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
