she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
