i think my mom watched the whole time
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
