we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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