Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
