Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much rum. So many feels.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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