do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He has the fingertips of a God
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
