well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize