And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
