He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
