i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
