So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
