This girl is more easily done than said...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
