first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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