yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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