i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
