I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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