You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
