puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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