Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
