You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She announced her abortion via fbk
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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