Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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