I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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