They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I love you.
Bad choice
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