the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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