all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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