I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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