oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everything about him screamed your future.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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