Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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