Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dignity is for republicans.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
