Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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