I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
