Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
