I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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