Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
