He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
