I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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