I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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