wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
