it hurts more in the daytime
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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