That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
